How This Ancient Japanese Art Teaches Us To Embrace Growth And Mindset Shifts In Our 30s

There is a divine art in breaking, shattering even. Every crack or imperfection provides an opportunity for personal transformation and elevation. A chance to reclaim your rights and your power, stepping into the next phase of your life with compassion, grace, and resilience. Kintsugi is the ancient Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold with much to teach us about embracing our own flaws and creating something new and beautiful with the shards of our life that may have seemingly fallen apart. 

Each part of your journey is unique like the broken pieces of pottery and are integrated into your most authentic self, while the gold liquid filling the cracks is your wisdom, self-compassion as well as your courage to rebuild. Just as Kintsugi honors the history of the broken piece of pottery by keeping all the pieces, starting over in your 30s is about honoring your own unique journey while embracing the possibility of the life that lies ahead.

credit: Scott Bell

The Breaking Point

The life I was participating in, because I wasn’t living, was no longer serving me. But it seemed like I was doing all the “right” things. Worked tirelessly to become a pharmacist and eventually pharmacy manager by 29, was the dutiful eldest daughter, always cared for others and spoke nicely to avoid upsetting others. But I realized one day as I cried while listening to “Hello” by Adele (so dramatic, I love it) that I was severely disconnected from myself and was living my life according to the perspectives and opinions of everyone besides myself. 

I denied myself pleasure. I lacked boundaries. I was a chronic people pleaser. I was in cycles of continuous burnout and was so numb to the world around me, to the point of almost taking my own life, and I knew that something had to change. My life as I knew it had to shatter in order for me to be able to release old patterns, relationships that have been outgrown, limiting beliefs  that affect my daily living and not honoring my body with terrible nutrition choices and mindless habits.

journaling to identify limiting beliefs and release suppressed emotions

Starting over is terrifying. I won’t lie and say it’s some fun process. It is long and inconsistent. It is raw and painful. It will make you question everything. It will test everything you thought you knew. But much like the ancient practice of Kintsugi fills the cracks of the shattered with gold, we can also transform our pain and grief into something beautifully whole. 

The Art of Reconnecting with Self

When you are in your 30s, the journey of reconnection can feel like rediscovering a favorite song that you may have forgotten about or maybe even stopped listening to because of what society said about it. Your 30s is actually the perfect time to shatter the weight of the expectations of others and rediscover the woman you truly are—authentic, beautiful, and whole. You have a better understanding of who you are as well as your values and what truly matters to you in this life. You can discover your true passions and pursue them in a way that aligns with the goals of your highest self.

Starting over allows you to align your life with this deeper sense of self and shedding old habits and ways of living that no longer serve you. Reconnection is not about trying to become someone new, it’s about integrating the essence of who you’ve always been with the pieces of yourself that you are now adorning with love and respect and every previous version of the person that led you to where you are today. 

Mindfulness practices, yoga and journaling have been amazing tools for me in my rediscovery as well as connection to self. These rituals have allowed me to pay attention to the present and consistently evaluate whether the habits in my current routine serve the highest good of my soul. As you take the first step to begin again, you may find that the gold that you are looking for to mend your broken cracks lies within you.

grounding

Honoring Your Imperfect Journey 

Each art piece is unique in Kintsugi. And each of our journeys that we travel will be different. Embracing imperfections and flaws leads to more authentic living and allows you to further immense yourself in the pleasure of life. When I was a chronic perfectionist, I honestly am still working relentlessly on this, it paralyzed me. It leaves you feeling immobilized and planning meticulously while never taking any action. I would be so obsessed with the details that I would never even get to put together the art. This was not something that I wanted to continue, especially because I want to share what I learned with the world. How can I do that if I am never putting myself in a position to create?

There will be many detours, inconsistencies, and pauses along the way to where you want to be. I would feel shattered and look around it all the pieces sometimes feeling too broken to be able to be put back together. But sometimes things must fall apart in order to create something beautiful. You are not the person that you were just before, but that is a part of your strength. You have learned lessons along the way and built resilience as well as grace acting as the gold radiating through the cracks. 

EMBRACING THE NEW WHOLE

Just like the gorgeous work of art that comes from the process of Kintsugi, you are not the same person that you were before you broke. You are more confident, more authentic and more courageous in your wholeness. Every time you elevate to a new phase of life you create a new piece of art that can be celebrated and integrated into this new phase of life moving forward. Every single piece of you, past and present, is valuable and every fissure is a testament to your growth and your beauty. You can be a work in progress and a masterpiece all at the same time. 

So just like the crevices in a work of art, our wounds and imperfections are not something that we should hide or be ashamed of. They help us to tell the story of our resilience, transformation and beauty. What once was shattered, can become something even more beautiful than we ever have imagined. 

Kintsugi is a beautiful Japanese concept, but also a powerful metaphor for life. It reminds us that our struggles and imperfections are a part of what makes us unique and whole. It’s a philosophy that encourages us to embrace the process and honor our unique journey no matter how difficult. I invite you to honor your unique journey by embracing mindfulness, reconnecting with your inner self, and using tools like yoga and journaling to guide you.

What will your first step be? Comment below or share your own journey of starting over and let’s support each other!