From Victim to Alchemist: Taking responsibility for your healing journey
What if taking accountability for your suffering was actually the key to your free freedom? When you are hurting from things you’ve experienced or in pain, this can be rough to hear. You probably initially reject the idea or even feel a surge of anger. Like how dare you tell me to take blame for what happened to me? Or you may be terrified of the idea of starting over or feeling stuck in a career or life path that no longer serves you.
But recognizing our role in our life experience allows us to free ourselves from limiting beliefs and align with our highest self. The path to the life that you desire is about reclaiming the power to change your mindset as well as your habits, but ultimately about unconditional self love.
Accountability is one of the most profound acts of self-love that there is. So let’s explore how accountability gives us the power to release repeating cycles, limiting beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve us.
Accountability vs Self Blame
Accountability is unfortunately associated with guilt and shame. As if acknowledging our patterns means that we should now be punished. In fact, it took me so long to move forward in my healing journey because taking accountability would make me feel so much shame and anger that I literally could not move forward.
But the truth is accountability is one of the most powerful acts of unconditional self love that there is. It means no longer outsourcing your power to someone or something else. It means recognizing that while you may not have had control over the hardships that shaped you or the traumas that you have experienced, you do have control over how you move forward in your life. It is a declaration that you refuse to be defined by what happened to you and that you are worthy of healing and reinvention.
For me it took many cycles of burnout to finally sit down and say “Okay, why do I keep going through this?”. And then I sat with it and decided that I felt like I needed to prove that I was worthy. And then you dig a little bit deeper and say well why do I feel like I need to prove myself in order to feel loved or worthy. Then you can uncover the limiting beliefs that reinforce this behavior and then work through it objectively without shame, guilt or judgment and move forward with a strong sense of love for yourself. Some questions to ask yourself while looking at your patterns with compassion:
Where have I been repeating cycles that unconsciously keep me stuck?
What limiting beliefs have shaped my reality and how can I gently release and rewrite them?
What actions have I taken or not taken that have contributed to my current experience?
And remember that these questions are here to serve and not shame you. They invite you into self-awareness. When you can see your patterns clearly, you can finally do the work that is needed to release and change them.
Breaking Free from Limiting Cycles
Let’s just imagine for a moment that you don’t take accountability. You keep making the same choices that land you in the same spaces that make you feel unworthy or less than. Continuing to say yes, when you want to say no. Over extending yourself in the hopes that you will finally feel worthy at some point. Neglecting your needs for the needs of others until you feel physically and mentally depleted. Over and over and over and over again.
When we don’t take accountability for the role that we play in our own suffering, we keep ourselves trapped in cycles, dancing with the very past you’ve outgrown. We repeat the same painful dynamics, and unconsciously reinforce the same limiting beliefs that we should be releasing and continue to make choices that lead to frustration as well as stagnation in our lives.
But accountability disrupts this pattern. It allows you to pause and reflect on where you’ve been as well as honoring your past self for doing the best that you could. But now choosing something different. With this new sense of self-awareness, you are now free to create new habits, set new boundaries and align opportunities with your highest self. You no longer wait for external circumstances to bring you peace, you create peace within yourself by making different choices that will ultimately lead to different life experiences.
Why Taking Accountability is An Act of Radical Self-Love
Accountability shifts you from being a victim of your life, to being a powerful creator of your reality. And it is so easy to get caught up in the hurt and the pain and stay in your victimhood, but how does that feel in the long run? You can stop waiting for your circumstance to change and instead recognize your power to shift your thoughts, choices, and actions. When you claim responsibility for your growth with self compassion, you break free from old narratives and step into the power of who you are meant to be.
It also helps to foster a deeper sense of self trust. You can trust yourself to make different choices that lead to better outcomes. You are liberated from repeating painful cycles and have the permission to become the author and rewrite your story.
The Freedom of Reinvention
The one major thing that came out of me starting my self healing journey and taking accountability for the role in my suffering was the freedom to start over. Using the power of aligned action to turn self awareness into new thoughts, habits and ways of being. When you start to notice that you are in a destructive cycle from before you can pause and apply mindfulness to the situation. Meaning you approach your thoughts and actions with self compassion, grace, and no judgment. Then you can choose to respond differently to a situation than you previously would have in the past for a different outcome.
When you acknowledge your power to shift your thoughts, choices, and behaviors, you reclaim control of your life. It is important to then take conscious action and make daily choices that align with your highest self. You don’t need to sit and punish your past self (because what good will that do), you can just honor your present and future yourself by making empowered and intentional choices today and moving forward.
It can be scary, however. Once you sit and find out a path you’ve been pursuing for many years, no longer aligns with your highest self and now you must switch gears and trust the process while starting from the drawing board is absolutely terrifying. Like don’t eat for days, stomach in knots, panic attack daily terrifying. But once you step into the mindset of a conscious creator, rather than a passive observer of your life, you will slowly start to make different choices that align with who you want to be.
Conclusion
You don’t have to stay bound by the choices that you have made or who you have been. You have the freedom to become who you were always meant to be at any given moment. That choice and when that happens is up to you. If you find yourself in painful repeated cycles that are keeping you stuck. I will leave you with a few questions to ask yourself:
Where in my life can I take responsibility for my suffering and my growth?
What patterns am I ready to release?
Who do I wish to be and what habits do I need in order to get there?
Imagine the version of you who steps into daily life with confidence and clarity because you know exactly who you are and create your reality with every decision that you make today. Embrace accountability as a tool for self liberation.